I’ve received a lot of helpful advice and counsel in my lifetime. I’ve watched thousands of episodes of Oprah, I’ve purchased and read dozens of self-help books, I’ve had many remarkable mentors and advisors and even a therapist (or two).
But none of these things has had more influence on my life and my happiness than my life coach.
Yes, a life coach.
Now, before you start scrolling your finger over to the X button to close down this blog post, just hear me out.
Life coaching isn’t what everybody thinks. Having benefited from the practice, I’d like to clear up some common misconceptions I often hear. In doing so, I hope to convince you to give it a try.
#1 Having a Life Coach Feels Awfully Fancy
When I tell people I’ve used a life coach in the past, their reaction is immediate: head cocked back, half frown/half grimace, head shaking left and right as if to say, “Well, well, well, aren’t you fancy?”
No. When I found my life coach, I wasn’t looking for fancy. I was looking for help. A lot of it.
I wanted to feel less exhausted and more energized.
I wanted to feel less torn in a million different directions and more whole.
I wanted to feel less hollow and more worthy.
Three years ago I hired my life coach Devin Green to do what she does best — to help people who are stuck get unstuck and move forward. (http://www.fogdogcoaching.com/lifecoaching/)
See. Not so fancy.
#2 Life Coaching Is Crazy Expensive
Is it free? Of course not. Is it inexpensive? No. But what life-altering, mind-blowing, game-changing advice is (or should be) cheap? If it’s too cheap, it probably isn’t that good.
I started with two coaching sessions with Devin and it cost me $300. Yes, that’s good money. Very good money. But here are some things that have cost me more than $300.
- An ugly bridesmaid’s dress.
- One trip to Costco.
- Hosting a child’s birthday party at Monkey Joe’s.
- One night in a hotel. Without breakfast.
- Two Katy Perry concert tickets.
And while I’ve paid more than $300 for everything listed above, none of those things changed my life. Forever.
As mothers, we don’t think twice about spending $300 when it benefits other people, but spending $300 to change the course of our life and our happiness somehow seems “fancy.”
Those first two life coaching sessions changed my life. They helped me determine what I wanted out of life and how to take the necessary steps to get there. Yes, I went back for more sessions. And every single time I felt like it was the best money I’d ever spent.
#3 Life Coaching Is About Getting Ahead at Work
Nope. It’s not work coaching. It’s life coaching. It’s not just about getting ahead; it’s about getting clear. Clear about what’s working in your life and what’s not, and clear about what success looks like in your life (not simply in your job – where most of us typically start).
As a busy mom pulled in a thousand different directions, clarity is the best gift you can give yourself. After working with a life coach, I know precisely what makes me happy and what doesn’t, and precisely how to structure my day, my week and my life to ensure that happiness — at work and at home.
Think about the best athletic coaches and personal trainers. They understand your strengths and weakness, they push you to be better, and they support and believe in you. Now imagine that type of person coaching your life, where winning looks less like a game and more like living a happy and deeply fulfilling life.
Does the life coaching I receive help me perform better in my job? Absolutely. Regularly. But primarily because it forces me to look at my job in the context of my entire life, not just in the context of getting ahead. This is a new concept for me.
#4 Life Coaching Is a Big Commitment
It’s not. You’re not signing up for a yearlong gym membership. You can do it when you feel like it. And by “it,” I mean a one-hour phone call in the comfort of your own home. In your pajamas if you want.
You take one hour and talk about yourself, not your children. A coach will help you learn about yourself and what makes you light up on the inside (the part of you that nobody can see or feel but you). And together you’ll find ways to make changes in your life that will make you happier.
So, there you have it. The truth about having a life coach.
I wish having a life coach didn’t have a fancy or overpriced reputation because in my experience it’s neither of those things.
I wish everyone had a life coach. But in particular, I wish every mother had a life coach.
Since you’re still reading this blog post, you’re either my own mother (Hi, Mom) or you’re intrigued by the idea of having a life coach. Maybe you’re still wondering if a life coach is for you, and if so, here’s a quick test. If any of the following statements feel like you and you want to make a change, it’s time to contact a life coach:
- You’re doing too much. For too many people.
- You’re living the life you’re “supposed” to be living but you’re not feeling the way you’re supposed to be feeling (happy, fulfilled, etc.).
- You’re working overtime to make sure the people around you like you.
- You wake up feeling uninspired.
- You know something needs to change but you don’t know where to start.
Devin Green [[email protected]] is my life coach and she actually offers a free, 30-minute introductory session to see if coaching is right for you. When I think of Devin, I think of the Oasis song, “You’re going to be the one who saves me.”
She helps me find the calm in the chaos. After our sessions I feel incredibly grounded and can make decisions with great ease and great clarity.
- Do I want to take off work today to go to the pumpkin patch? Yep.
- Do I want to cook dinner for my husband every night? Nope.
- Do I want the company I’m running to be really big one day? Never.
Since I started working with a life coach, I worry less, stress less and yell at my kids a whole lot less. I eat better, sleep better and my skin even looks better.
But the biggest benefit is that I’ve been able to quiet the voices around me (telling me what I could and should be doing) and strengthen the voice within me.
And I don’t think there’s anything fancy or overpriced about that.